Let me set the scene: Sedona AZ, just before sunset, beautiful red rock all around, a great group of student leaders- and I was FURIOUS.
Shawn had picked a spot to watch the sunset for one night of our new leaders retreat- the culmination of a semester long leadership class. There was a perfectly good spot to watch the sun set from the parking lot. In fact, I had met some people from Illinois and chatted with them as the rest of the group climbed up to a higher point in the rocks.
As far as I was concerned, my view was fine. I knew what was coming though….
“Katie! Get up here!” Nope, Shawn, I’m good. That treacherous looking climb is NOT worth a sunset…and friends..and whatever I’m not going up there.
“Oh I’m fine. Thanks though!”
I am not- I repeat NOT- going to look like and idiot in front of all of these people that are younger than me. And I’m certainly not going to let Shawn help me because it is certain he is going to offer.
“Katie- you’re fine! The view is so much better! You can do it!” I give it a lame attempt of one foot. I am legitimately scared- we are up high. I cannot do this.
“I can’t. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Are you saying the laws of physics work for everyone else except for you? Just let me help you!”
“Yes! I can’t. I’ll fall. I just can’t”
This exact pattern of conversation lasts for…um ever. Except with lots of crying and fake attempts to climb. Oh and everyone can hear me/see me freak out. Awesome. Exactly what I was trying to avoid. GIVE IT UP SHAWN!
**Note that I think Shawn is the only person in the world who can out stubborn me.
Finally, I listen to where I’m being told to put my foot. All my faith in this tiny little ledge…And I climb up the stupid rock in like 2 seconds. And-even though I HATED to admit it- the view was spectacular. The friends made it better.
Shawn had a different perspective than I did- he knew that I was fully capable of climbing up the rock even if I didn’t. He knew that there was something so much better for me if I just put in a little work. If I would have quit, things would have been just OK but Shawn knew that getting to the “something better” would also make me stronger. Also, if I would have just trusted and obeyed in the first place, I would have saved myself lots of stress, embarrassment, and energy.
God can see my potential- beyond my kicking and screaming. God knows that what he has planned for me (and YOU!) is way better than hanging out in the parking lot. Any obstacle should be embraced- put there to prepare you for something else. These are all lessons that I’m wrestling with and struggling to put into practice.Thankfully, God hasn’t given up on me (And neither have Shawn and Candi…yet ;). Oh God that I would trust You and your plans for my life!
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”Isaiah 55:9
“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”